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noblealiceworksTitle: Regret is Too Strong a Word
Author: Lily
Rating: G
Pairing: meant to be Harry/Hermione, but a little Ron/Hermione slipped in.
Spoilers: Up to Deathly Hallows
Summary: A part of her wants to bring up her children as Muggles because she remembers how it felt that afternoon when she got a mysterious letter inviting her to a whole new life.
Word Count: 1, 000+
A/N: Apparently, Hermione is the only one of the trio to go back and finish her 7th year. Wikipedia tells me this, it must be so!
A/N2: Dedicated to the lovely![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
infiniteskies, who has made me write my SECOND H/HR fic. I even had a tag already! Poor Ron/Hermione didn't even have one until now. What have you done to me, dear? (J/K, I love it!)
WARNING: This was hastily (poorly) written and un-beta'd!
1.
When Rose is placed in her arms moments after her birth, Hermione almost wishes that she had a messy mop of black hair.
Afterthought: But she doesn’t. This is important.
2.
A part of her wants to bring up her children as Muggles because she remembers how it felt that afternoon when she got a mysterious letter inviting her to a whole new life. She thinks of telling her children normal fairy-tales and instilling a work ethic that teaches them that magic can’t solve every problem.
She thinks aloud one evening and kicks Ron out of bed when he laughs at her.
“You’d have to live eleven years without magic, ‘Mione. Do you really think you could do that?” He asks incredulously, shocked that she could even consider the notion.
What he doesn’t understand is that she would do anything for her kids. It scared her at first, the level of fierce devotion she had for them. She had only felt a fraction of that type of responsibility during the war.
Harry is used as a sounding board for all of her and Ron’s arguments and it is his pragmatic voice that convinces her.
“Do you really think you could lie to them for eleven years?” He asks, quietly.
She knows all too well the heartbreak of lying to a loved one and cannot inflict any more pain on those she most wants to protect.
Afterthought: Lying to herself is the only exception.
3.
Over the years, Ron’s fingers have gotten more confident in touching her, less hesitant, and she smiles into his freckled skin now when he skims his palms down her stomach and back up the inside of her legs. In all these years, he has always looked at her body with the awe and thankful wonder of a seventeen year old boy. He continues to explore her like a masterpiece that only becomes more valued over time.
She has to keep her own hands restricted to his back and shoulders. She’s afraid that if she were to explore any higher, she might let out a sigh of disappointment when she doesn’t feel a familiar scar on his forehead under the pads of her fingers.
Afterthought: It’s not infidelity if you’re just pretending.
4.
Hugo is sorted into Hufflepuff and Ron can’t hide his expression fast enough. Once again, Hermione is thankful that owls can’t convey the recipient’s emotions back to the sender and scolds him about tolerance. She watches him walk off muttering under his breath. After this many years of marriage, she knows that he’s about to search for a list of famous Quidditch players who were in Hufflepuff.
He can only find two and it makes him scowl through their dinner that night.
“Guess he’ll have to pave his own road of distinction.”
“I thought the point of having kids was to watch them live the life you couldn’t.” He jokes with a lopsided grin.
“You told me that having kids was a way to express your love for your partner.”
“I was trying to get you in bed.”
“How charming.”
He pauses, a piece of fish still stuck on the end of his fork.
“I just want him to have an easier life than I did; to never want for anything.”
It’s a familiar fear of his that she tries to dispel whenever taxes go up or the kids need new robes. She leans over their wobbly wooden table to place her hand over his.
“I just want him to graduate. And be happy.” Like how I am with you, she tries to say with her eyes.
“I hate when you rub that in my face.” He grimaces and returns to his meal.
“I know.” She laughs, satisfied for now that she’s convinced him.
Afterthought: Still, she almost cried when she found out that Harry sent a congratulations letter to Hugo, telling him all about Cedric, the best Champion that Hogwarts has ever seen.
5.
She’s proud of her work and doesn’t mind coming home with ink-stained fingers late at night. She thinks that she’s slowly making a difference and that’s worth all the cold dinners and early mornings.
But just because she feels pride in her work, does not make it any easier to get out of bed on a rain-soaked day when all she’d rather do is roll over and snuggle closer to the warm body lying next to her, to sink under the covers until the sun comes out again.
“What’s happened?” She’s arrived late to an office surrounded with onlookers and filled with excited owls. It’s been years since the days of losing people, but she still can’t stop her heart from racing and a hand moves to cover her chest, reflexively squeezing in nervous beats. She tells herself to be rational, but terror constricts logic from flowing to the brain.
“Clancy was injured; they’ve taken him off to St. Mungos. They hope it isn’t serious, but they’ve sent for his wife anyways.”
Hermione stands alone in the aftermath, her body still sending her bursts of adrenaline to cope with the chaos around her.
“Isn’t that the worst thing you can imagine?” The voice that was once beside her sounds suddenly far away.
Hermione has long since learned that life has an uncanny knack of taking your worst imaginings and twisting them tenfold. Her worst imagining is a bit more complicated, but she doesn’t tell her colleague this. Instead she voices, “Yes. It’s horrible.”
She’s known them both so long that she doesn’t know how she’d function if she lost either of them; they were her own personal little family after they had all left their real families.
Afterthought: After catching a glimpse of how it would feel to be robbed of the possibility of telling him, of living that life, she can’t help but feel stifled and claustrophobic now.
Author: Lily
Rating: G
Pairing: meant to be Harry/Hermione, but a little Ron/Hermione slipped in.
Spoilers: Up to Deathly Hallows
Summary: A part of her wants to bring up her children as Muggles because she remembers how it felt that afternoon when she got a mysterious letter inviting her to a whole new life.
Word Count: 1, 000+
A/N: Apparently, Hermione is the only one of the trio to go back and finish her 7th year. Wikipedia tells me this, it must be so!
A/N2: Dedicated to the lovely
infiniteskies, who has made me write my SECOND H/HR fic. I even had a tag already! Poor Ron/Hermione didn't even have one until now. What have you done to me, dear? (J/K, I love it!)WARNING: This was hastily (poorly) written and un-beta'd!
1.
When Rose is placed in her arms moments after her birth, Hermione almost wishes that she had a messy mop of black hair.
Afterthought: But she doesn’t. This is important.
2.
A part of her wants to bring up her children as Muggles because she remembers how it felt that afternoon when she got a mysterious letter inviting her to a whole new life. She thinks of telling her children normal fairy-tales and instilling a work ethic that teaches them that magic can’t solve every problem.
She thinks aloud one evening and kicks Ron out of bed when he laughs at her.
“You’d have to live eleven years without magic, ‘Mione. Do you really think you could do that?” He asks incredulously, shocked that she could even consider the notion.
What he doesn’t understand is that she would do anything for her kids. It scared her at first, the level of fierce devotion she had for them. She had only felt a fraction of that type of responsibility during the war.
Harry is used as a sounding board for all of her and Ron’s arguments and it is his pragmatic voice that convinces her.
“Do you really think you could lie to them for eleven years?” He asks, quietly.
She knows all too well the heartbreak of lying to a loved one and cannot inflict any more pain on those she most wants to protect.
Afterthought: Lying to herself is the only exception.
3.
Over the years, Ron’s fingers have gotten more confident in touching her, less hesitant, and she smiles into his freckled skin now when he skims his palms down her stomach and back up the inside of her legs. In all these years, he has always looked at her body with the awe and thankful wonder of a seventeen year old boy. He continues to explore her like a masterpiece that only becomes more valued over time.
She has to keep her own hands restricted to his back and shoulders. She’s afraid that if she were to explore any higher, she might let out a sigh of disappointment when she doesn’t feel a familiar scar on his forehead under the pads of her fingers.
Afterthought: It’s not infidelity if you’re just pretending.
4.
Hugo is sorted into Hufflepuff and Ron can’t hide his expression fast enough. Once again, Hermione is thankful that owls can’t convey the recipient’s emotions back to the sender and scolds him about tolerance. She watches him walk off muttering under his breath. After this many years of marriage, she knows that he’s about to search for a list of famous Quidditch players who were in Hufflepuff.
He can only find two and it makes him scowl through their dinner that night.
“Guess he’ll have to pave his own road of distinction.”
“I thought the point of having kids was to watch them live the life you couldn’t.” He jokes with a lopsided grin.
“You told me that having kids was a way to express your love for your partner.”
“I was trying to get you in bed.”
“How charming.”
He pauses, a piece of fish still stuck on the end of his fork.
“I just want him to have an easier life than I did; to never want for anything.”
It’s a familiar fear of his that she tries to dispel whenever taxes go up or the kids need new robes. She leans over their wobbly wooden table to place her hand over his.
“I just want him to graduate. And be happy.” Like how I am with you, she tries to say with her eyes.
“I hate when you rub that in my face.” He grimaces and returns to his meal.
“I know.” She laughs, satisfied for now that she’s convinced him.
Afterthought: Still, she almost cried when she found out that Harry sent a congratulations letter to Hugo, telling him all about Cedric, the best Champion that Hogwarts has ever seen.
5.
She’s proud of her work and doesn’t mind coming home with ink-stained fingers late at night. She thinks that she’s slowly making a difference and that’s worth all the cold dinners and early mornings.
But just because she feels pride in her work, does not make it any easier to get out of bed on a rain-soaked day when all she’d rather do is roll over and snuggle closer to the warm body lying next to her, to sink under the covers until the sun comes out again.
“What’s happened?” She’s arrived late to an office surrounded with onlookers and filled with excited owls. It’s been years since the days of losing people, but she still can’t stop her heart from racing and a hand moves to cover her chest, reflexively squeezing in nervous beats. She tells herself to be rational, but terror constricts logic from flowing to the brain.
“Clancy was injured; they’ve taken him off to St. Mungos. They hope it isn’t serious, but they’ve sent for his wife anyways.”
Hermione stands alone in the aftermath, her body still sending her bursts of adrenaline to cope with the chaos around her.
“Isn’t that the worst thing you can imagine?” The voice that was once beside her sounds suddenly far away.
Hermione has long since learned that life has an uncanny knack of taking your worst imaginings and twisting them tenfold. Her worst imagining is a bit more complicated, but she doesn’t tell her colleague this. Instead she voices, “Yes. It’s horrible.”
She’s known them both so long that she doesn’t know how she’d function if she lost either of them; they were her own personal little family after they had all left their real families.
Afterthought: After catching a glimpse of how it would feel to be robbed of the possibility of telling him, of living that life, she can’t help but feel stifled and claustrophobic now.
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no subject
Date: 2009-02-14 12:43 am (UTC)Just. Ow. This devastates me. Thank you soooooo much for this ♥ ♥
hat have you done to me, dear? (J/K, I love it!)
Haha. You know you can't resist the epicness. ;D I'll work on your fic this week since this weekend's kinda crazy for me.
Thank you so much again!! <3
no subject
Date: 2009-02-16 10:36 pm (UTC)I was a little worried there was too much Ron and not enough Harry, so I'm really glad you like it!
You don't have to write me a fic in exchange, darling! No pressure!
no subject
Date: 2009-02-17 12:39 am (UTC)♥
no subject
Date: 2009-02-14 05:42 am (UTC)STAB ME IN THE HEART AND LEAVE ME FOR DEAD.
MY SOUUUULLLL ISSSSS SHHHHATTTERED!
and this?
Still, she almost cried when she found out that Harry sent a congratulations letter to Hugo, telling him all about Cedric, the best Champion that Hogwarts has ever seen.
BECAUSE HE WOULD SO DO THAT.
gave me shivers.
this makes me want to cry of all the could have beens.
no subject
Date: 2009-02-16 10:38 pm (UTC)I am so glad that YOU of all people like it, because your H/HR fics are LEGENDARY.